


" Shouldn't The Author and The Narrator talk? "

by KingFranPetty



Category: DR. SEUSS - Works, Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon), Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Decisions, Bad Humor, Bad Ideas, Bad Jokes, Bad Writing, Confusing, Confusion, Dialogue, Dialogue Heavy, Dialogue-Only, Humor, In-Jokes, Lack of Communication, M/M, Meta, Metafiction, Monologue, Nonsense, Not Serious, Out of Character, Poor Life Choices, Self-Insert, Some Humor, Stupidity, Talking, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 20:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: I, King Francis Petty, Oak Tree, Frankin Beans, KFPW, The Turtle, aka The Author have chosen to talk to The Narrator. Why? Because he seems nice and it would be rude to avoid my fellow meta element folk.
Relationships: Sam I am/Guy Am I
Kudos: 37





	" Shouldn't The Author and The Narrator talk? "

★ Greetings Reader and My fellow meta element! I am King Francis Petty, The Author of this particular work. How do you do? 

What? How? How did you get in here? 

★ You aren't rhyming? Well, isn't this day full of surprises! 

What are you doing in here?! I thought I was the only one allowed in here! 

And what's with wrong that star?... Please don't tell me you're a Star bellied Sneetch. 

★ No no no no no no! I'm a Writer!! I exist between reality and fiction like you but I make the fiction. You can only form fiction with your narrative... I guess? 

Wait! First, rude. I am a Narrator, I would prefer some respect for my craft! Second, I thought the narrator is the author? 

★ I mean no disrespect for you, Sir. The last point... Well, that's a little more complex than that..... I would rather not get into literary theory. At least not now. I am actually here to talk about Sam and Guy. 

Oh! Of course, what else would we talk about? So what about them are we talking about? 

★ Was that sarcasm? 

No! Why do you ask? Shouldn't the tone of my voice inform you if I was being sarcastic or not? 

★ It's rather difficult to hear tone in writing. 

.... Writing? Are we in a book? I've always wanted to be in a book!! What kind of book is this!? Can I tell a story!?! 

★ Calm your self, Friendo! We are in a fan fiction. Sorry to dispoint, but thus is the storyline. 

Us having a chit chat about Sam I Am and Guy Am I? That's the plot to your fan fic? 

★ Again, sorry if it is a little bit underwhelming. 

Care to tell me what exactly we are suppose to be talking about in regards to Samuel and Guy? 

★ Oh yeah, I almost forgot! What's your opinion on Sammy and Guy being in a relationship? 

... You mean like a friendship relationship with each other? Well, The WHOLE show was about them becoming best friends so I guess it makes sense that the fans would be focus on their relationship in particular. Kinda did not expect the first fandom work I would be in to be so... Sorry if this comes off as jerk ish but, Mild. 

★ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! 

... UMMMM. I don't exactly trust that laugh.

★ Oh, sorry to scare you. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so masked in my wording with a children's show narrator. Can't beat around the bush without kiddie gloves akin to you thinking I'm trying to play pop goes the weasel. 

What's that supposed mean? I'LL have you know that I am an actual adult. Heck, I am such an adult that I have a professional job on a real show! 

★ I should have added social skills to the tags to this. I completely believe that you are an total adult. 

Thank you! 

★ I will be Frank, because that's my name, it's relationship as in romantic. I should have been more specific. 

What? 

Romantic relationship? 

Well, Hmmm. Ummm. Huh. Whelp. Uhhhh! Hahaha. I... I. 

★... Take your time, pal. 

Thanks. I think I'm going to need a minute to give back to you on that one. 

★ Oh? 

I can't hear your voice or tone in any way but I got weird feeling from that "Oh?" 

★ I have a feeling that you know something you aren't telling us. 

Us? Who are you talking about? Now that I think about it. You said Reader at the beginning of this... There's something you aren't telling me! Ha!! 

★ I won't lie to you, Reader is the name I use to refer to the person who reads this. Us as in Reader and I. 

Oh... Well. 

★ I told you something, care to tell me what I want know? 

What are you talking about? Hahaha! I'm not hiding anything from you at all! 

★ Hmmm? 

Are you freaking Skeksil? 

★... I'm going to ignoring that insult. Frankly speaking, I am rather surprised that a children's show narrator watches Dark Crystal. It's sort of Bloody for a Seuss character, but isn't today full of surprises? 

You are trying to manipulate me into telling you what want to know, aren't you? Nice try, my lips are zipped, locked, and nailed shut. 

★ Actually I was going to try to flirt with you to get the information. Guess that's not going to work. Maybe better I don't, my relationships with Narrators tend to end badly. 

Seriously?! 

★ So anyway. 

No no no, tell me more about your other relationships with the other narrators. 

★ Fine. I had a crush in high school that ended with two guys who want to murder me. 

Wow! Ouch!! I'm so sorry I asked. Hmmmmm, What else do you want to talk about?

★ Sam and Guy? 

Oh. You are using this to make me spill the beans. I see. Fine. Fine. I will tell you. 

★ Thanks. 

I saw Sam making out with a doll of guy. It wasn't a one time event either. He did it every single night he went to bed. 

★ That's a little mild, don't you think? 

... Okay. I can kind of sort of read the minds of characters sometimes. Sam spends a lot of time watching Guy and I can hear everything he's thinking. I could even watch their dreams and I have. 

★ Yet you acted surprised that he lied? 

I don't know everything. Plus I have to seem surprised by big plot twists, for the most part. Again, I don't exactly know the rules here but I follow them. 

★ Understandable. I do apologize for getting on the wrong foot. Thank you again. 

It's fine. I sort of need something to do between seasons... If there is even going to be another season. 

★ Haha, doesn't everyone just agree with you? 

What does that mean? Do the fans not like me?! 

★ I'm saying the opposite of your worry. 

Oh, I was... Just asking. I wasn't actually worried or anything. Yeah. 

★ The End. 

Or is it!?! 

★ Yes, it is.


End file.
